In Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf explores the whole notion of marriage. She leaves the reader with the question of what it really is - marriage or misery? Marriage is explored through the unions of Clarissa and Richard as well as Lacrezia and Septimus. Both marriages are held together “for better or for worst” whether it was to uphold social status or simply out of sincerity and loyalty. This is symbolic as marriage in a typical Victorian society was very much encouraged and important. This significance was also depicted in the story of Florence Nightingale which we studied earlier in class. A woman was expected to get married and take care of her husband and household.
In the case of marriage between Clarissa and Richard, Woolf gave an insight into Clarissa’s thoughts to reveal her views on the matter. “She had the oddest sense of being herself invisible, unseen; un-known; there being no more marrying, no more having of children now...this being Mrs. Dalloway; not even Clarissa any more; this being Mrs. Richard Dalloway”. Through this, we see that Clarissa feels like no one could see her. She had lost her identity as a result of her marriage. It was as if when she looked into the mirror, she no longer saw a reflection of herself or her desires. Instead, she saw her husband and what he desired of her. She understood that the world saw her as her husband’s wife. This was symbolic of her submission to her husband and his authority over her which was typical in a Victorian society.
As Peter put it, “With twice his wits, she had to see things through his eyes-one of the tragedies of marred life." For example, all of the parties Clarissa so eloquently hosted were all for her husband. “Behind it all was that network of visiting, leaving cards, being kind to people; running about with bunches of flowers, little presents...a real drain on her strength; all that interminable traffic that women of her sort keep up; but she did it genuinely, from a natural instinct.” This depicts the normal everyday life of a classic Victorian woman. She is expected to do such things under the morals instilled by the Victorian society. Even if she wanted more from life, she realized that this was all that she would get and therefore focused on survival rather than sorrow.
Woolf also explored marriage through the union of Lacrezia and Septimus. In the following excerpt, Woolf gave Lacrezia’s thoughts on the matter. "She could stand it no longer…Far rather would she that he were dead! She could not sit beside him when he stared so and did not see her and made everything terrible...To love makes one solitary, she thought...Septimus had fought, he was brave; he was not Septimus now. She put on her lace collar. She put on her new hat and he never noticed; and he was happy without her. Nothing could make her happy without him! Nothing! He was selfish…Her wedding ring slipped-she had grown so thin. It was she who suffered-but she had nobody to tell." Through this we see that Lacrezia also felt invisible. Septimus had grown so cold and bitter that he sat beside his wife but did not even notice or acknowledge her presence. This left Lacrezia very miserable to the point where she began to lose weight. The imagery of portrayed through the slipping of her wedding ring is symbolic of the instability of her marriage. However, just like Clarissa, Lacrezia was loyal to her husband. "She had a right to his arm, though it was without feeling”.
All in all, Woolf portrays marriage as seen through the eyes of a typical Victorian: a wife surrendering to her husband under the patriarchal authority imposed by the Victorian society. Clarissa and Lacrezia gave up their identity, whether by force or by choice, and submitted to their husbands. This was done all for the sake of marriage. You decide - marriage or misery? I think it is a bit of both...
In the case of marriage between Clarissa and Richard, Woolf gave an insight into Clarissa’s thoughts to reveal her views on the matter. “She had the oddest sense of being herself invisible, unseen; un-known; there being no more marrying, no more having of children now...this being Mrs. Dalloway; not even Clarissa any more; this being Mrs. Richard Dalloway”. Through this, we see that Clarissa feels like no one could see her. She had lost her identity as a result of her marriage. It was as if when she looked into the mirror, she no longer saw a reflection of herself or her desires. Instead, she saw her husband and what he desired of her. She understood that the world saw her as her husband’s wife. This was symbolic of her submission to her husband and his authority over her which was typical in a Victorian society.
As Peter put it, “With twice his wits, she had to see things through his eyes-one of the tragedies of marred life." For example, all of the parties Clarissa so eloquently hosted were all for her husband. “Behind it all was that network of visiting, leaving cards, being kind to people; running about with bunches of flowers, little presents...a real drain on her strength; all that interminable traffic that women of her sort keep up; but she did it genuinely, from a natural instinct.” This depicts the normal everyday life of a classic Victorian woman. She is expected to do such things under the morals instilled by the Victorian society. Even if she wanted more from life, she realized that this was all that she would get and therefore focused on survival rather than sorrow.
Woolf also explored marriage through the union of Lacrezia and Septimus. In the following excerpt, Woolf gave Lacrezia’s thoughts on the matter. "She could stand it no longer…Far rather would she that he were dead! She could not sit beside him when he stared so and did not see her and made everything terrible...To love makes one solitary, she thought...Septimus had fought, he was brave; he was not Septimus now. She put on her lace collar. She put on her new hat and he never noticed; and he was happy without her. Nothing could make her happy without him! Nothing! He was selfish…Her wedding ring slipped-she had grown so thin. It was she who suffered-but she had nobody to tell." Through this we see that Lacrezia also felt invisible. Septimus had grown so cold and bitter that he sat beside his wife but did not even notice or acknowledge her presence. This left Lacrezia very miserable to the point where she began to lose weight. The imagery of portrayed through the slipping of her wedding ring is symbolic of the instability of her marriage. However, just like Clarissa, Lacrezia was loyal to her husband. "She had a right to his arm, though it was without feeling”.
All in all, Woolf portrays marriage as seen through the eyes of a typical Victorian: a wife surrendering to her husband under the patriarchal authority imposed by the Victorian society. Clarissa and Lacrezia gave up their identity, whether by force or by choice, and submitted to their husbands. This was done all for the sake of marriage. You decide - marriage or misery? I think it is a bit of both...
I definintely agree that Woolf portrays Victorian marriage as confining for women. I especially like Peter's passage that you pointed out, that says that a wife must see the world through her husband's eyes. Clarissa did still possess her own identity, but really only among people that knew her before her marriage and among other women of society. And even these circles she is evaluated by how succesdul she is at appearing as a respectful wife that her husband can be proud of.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that she settled for Richard Dalloway. Peter seems much more like her. They both get excited by little things and seem to get alone well together. However, she does not seem miserable but simply bored. Peter and Richard both may not understand why she loves her parties, but it seems to be something to occupy her time with. She does not seem happy, but she also does not seem completely miserable. If she was truly happy, then seeing Peter would not affect her in the way that it did.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree that there was both marriage and misery in this novel. One of the repetitive themes we see of women during this time period are the ways they feel they must "please" others, especially their husbands. I saw Clarissa as one of these wives who feels like they must please their husbands, even if this means they are unhappy in the end. Did Clarissa love Richard? Yes, I believe she did. But, in a way I saw this marriage holding Clarissa back from many things she wanted to do. Because of this, I saw Clarissa and Richard's marriage as misery. The way Richard seemed to control Clarissa is something that held her back from fully loving him. This could be one of the reasons she still seemed to long for Peter Walsh when he makes his return from India.
ReplyDeleteI think we can definitely NOT forget one of the most fundamental aspects of marriage: sex. In this case, for both Lucrezia and Clarissa, it's obvious that they are not really engaged with their husbands in this way. There is an intimacy that comes from that kind of relationship that both these Victorian women are almost forced to live without.
ReplyDeleteLet's look at Rezia. Septimus met her when she was "the young[est]...the gay, the frivolous, with those little artist's fingers that she would hold up and say 'It is all in them.' Silk, feathers, what not were alive to them" (85). And from what we know about Italian people (what we mentioned in class) and their passionate embrace for life, we know then that it is impossible for Rezia to be satisfied with the suicidal Septimus, on any level.
With Clarissa, we already know that her bed is almost compared to that of a nun's bed, indicating that it is not a place of marital intimacy, but more a place of just "existing" with her husband. It is not that Clarissa is an unsexed woman, as some writers of England had suggested woman become in response to the sex panic of the 1790s. We see her sexuality come forth in her remembering Sally, and even a little with her mind drifting off to Peter. But this must be repressed in her marriage, as Richard is indeed a very traditional Victorian man who has problems showing his emotional side (although yes, it can be argued that sex does not need to be emotional; but in a marriage, it is crucial).
SO for me? Misery in marriage. Thanks for the post!
I wonder if Clarissa's reaction to Peter Walsh is nothing more than the result of their years apart and her resulting idealization of him.
ReplyDeleteClarissa admits that she bickers constantly with Peter, and I can't see a marriage full of constant bickering to be all that happy. I think she made the right choice when she chose Richard. Peter Walsh gets on my nerves.